Ramblings

This post is really for my own journal more then anything so feel free to not read because i am not posting any pictures!
About a week ago i was G chatting with Kel Kel and we were telling her about Owen's birthday and Disneyland and a few other things we have going on. She said "Man you guys live a great life!"
Last night I woke up in a complete panic. I had a dream that I found Drew at the bottom of the pool and i struggled to get him out. it was like I couldn't swim. Something was weighing me down. Almost like that feeling when you try to scream and you can't. When I finally got to the surface I panicked and tried to do CPR. Luckily I was able to revive him but then I freaked out begging him to never go near the pool again. That is when I woke up. I immediately began to sob. It felt so real, more real then any dream I had ever had. I grabbed Michael and tried to get a hold of myself. Of course he woke up and was very confused but he just held me. I wanted to call my mom and convince her she needed to move and get rid of the pool, but i knew i couldn't. I also wanted to sign up for CPR classes right then and there, but it was 3 in the morning. Of course i couldn't sleep... all I could see was that sweet little face smiling at me under water. It makes me sick.
I didn't have any hair to do today (which is rare) so we got to just hang out and I even took a little nap! When Drew woke up I took the kids over to a friends to play. For dinner I took the kids to sushi and met Michael at his work with the left overs. We came home and put the kids to bed. It was an easy but great day. As I laid next to Owen we had a little chat about the holy ghost that melted my heart and then he was silent. I thought he had fallen asleep and I got up and he whispered "Mom?... I love you" the tears just streamed down my face.
Kelly's words keep ringing in my hear... "you live a great life!" It's true. I am so lucky I have a husband who loves to see his family happy. He loves and serves us daily. I have family and friends who i love dearly. And I have two beautiful boys who keep me on my toes, make me laugh out loud, and who love me unconditionally. I am living the life I always dreamed I would. Heavenly Father has given me so much sometimes it honestly scares me.